Changing Seasons

The last two mornings have been brisk. I step outside into cool air that prickles my skin. The long shadows in the morning hint at something new, something changing. Fall is in the air.

After months of hot, hot weather, I am ready for cooler temperatures. The other day I was just thinking of how I can’t wait to see the leaves change, for pumpkin patches and apple cider, and for long evenings with a cup of tea.

For the first time in a very, very long time, I am excited for autumn. I didn’t even recognize this feeling at first. How could I, the woman who needs sweaters in the middle of summer, be excited for cooler temperatures? Or, heaven forbid, be ready for the sun to start setting earlier?

However I got here, I am excited for the changing seasons. Maybe it is because of how hot this summer was, and the lack of air conditioning (the house I was in earlier this summer had a very small one, it didn’t keep up well).

I could list off many reasons why I think this year I am feel ready for autumn, instead of desperately wishing that summer would stay longer. But I think there is one overarching one, one that without the others would still change how I feel about summer being almost over.

I’m not afraid of winter.

I have been afraid for years. Afraid of the dark days, afraid of the cold, afraid of the busy holiday season that drains me of energy, spitting me out into January a hopeless basket case. Winter is always the hardest time of year for me. And fall meant that winter was coming just around the corner, and soon I would be plunged into the darkest days of the year where all my fears came out to play.

But this year, the lurking fear is gone. Perhaps because I am not alone, I will face the changing seasons along with my husband. Perhaps because in this last year I have created more friendships and strengthened relationships with my family, so I have those connections to take me through the season. Or maybe I am too busy this year to care.

For whatever the reason, I am grateful for it. I am free to enjoy the beauty of the changing seasons. Soon the trees will turn bright colors, we will start making apple pies, and I can pull out my boots. Autumn will come, winter will follow, and it will be good.

Shaina Merrick