I have a quibble with the world. Many actually, but we are only talking about one of them today.
I have a quibble with ‘adulting’. The phrase, the reasoning behind the phrase, the jokes around the phrase, all of it.
If I had a quarter for every time someone made a joke my way about ‘adulting’ I would have a tank of gas, or two, by now (don’t laugh, it’s worth it’s weight in gold right now).
Whether it was getting up on time, taxes, washing my dishes, or even getting my groceries, I have been complimented on my ‘adulting’.
Because apparently having responsibilities is something I should be praised for. Because taking care of myself and my belongings earns a reward. Because being an adult is so hard we should all be given a gold star for just showing up.
I disagree.
Being an adult is not something we get to choose. We are adults because of something we call the life cycle, remember the tad poles and frogs in grade school? Exactly, we were born, we become children, we become teenagers, and then we become adults. I can’t choose my age. Because my age is something completely outside of my control (I haven’t found a time machine yet), I should not get a prize for it either.
It is no great feat to be an adult. It can be great feat to survive to adulthood, but not in being an adult. This stage of life is a natural part of our lives here on earth.
Our culture is obsessed with being childlike. We hold onto our toys, dreams, and obsessions of childhood far into adulthood. ‘Adulting’ is out of the ordinary. Something to be looked upon in disgust, or as drudgery. And when we pull ourselves up to get our bills paid someone gives us a prize. The prize is that I don’t have my electricity shut off. Not a gold star.
We are adults for far, far longer than we are children. We are children for 18 to 20 years (if we count teen years), and adults for 40 to 60 years. That is almost triple the time we spend as adolescents. Why do we constantly strive for something so fleeting, so temporary?
Millions of dollars are spent every year in the pursuit of looking younger. Millions of dollars are spent every year on childhood toys to make adults feel younger. We long for what is past and glare at the present, blaming adulthood for all of our problems.
The problem is not that we are adults, the problem is that we don’t enjoy it.
Discontent is the thief of joy. Including discontentment of our age. No one can be 12 forever. It is biologically impossible. To constantly wish for something we can never achieve again is to make our days a living drudgery.
I think being an adult is the best adventure ever. I get to choose what I want to eat, where I live, how I spend my time, and what job I have. I can actually choose not to do the dishes, and there is no one here to nag me about it!
I have a house, I am married, I am getting a degree in the field I enjoy, I get to spend my free time the way I wish. Life is good. Life was good as a child, and life is good now as an adult. I refuse to spend my life wishing for something that will never return. Nostalgia will not give me happiness, the life I am living will.
So forget ‘adulting’, just go be an adult. Enjoy!
Shaina Merrick
I really appreciate this post actually. The fact that acting like an adult is seen as optional by adults is a reflection of how pathetic society is. The scariest part is that these same adults are becoming parents already – how are kids going to learn about responsibility as a duty, when their own parents don’t even see it that way?
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That is a really good point! How can we teach something we don’t know ourselves?
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Yes, agreed 100%!
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