You know those blog posts were a funny blogger reveals that they are actually writing a story and they just have to tell you about their glorious brain child?
You guessed it, I am writing one of those.
Yes, that is its name. Yes, I plan on changing it. Someday. You know, whenever this rambling novel decides to finish itself and reveal what it wants to be called.
In a nutshell, the country of Valai has been overtaken by a tyrant and the only surviving member of the royal family has to get his country back.
Woooow. Real original there girl. Sounds just like every other plot out there. And look at that, you even have elves. And pegasi. No dragons though. Just have to stick one in there somewhere and you can join the ranks of wannabe Lord of the Rings and Narnia novels.
I even have a magic system. Yup. I sunk that far. Doesn’t matter that mind readers are called wizards and magic is basically forced hallucinations, it is still a magic system. Did I mention that I had the idea for this book more than five years ago? I know, it doesn’t. But I thought I’d try.
And to top it all off, there is a love story. Congratulations girl, just had to follow the trend there too.
Yes, I sank so low as to put in a love story. Do me a favor and do NOT ask me for the ship name. I am still in denial that my two characters are in love, and don’t even want to think about it. You see, I have never actually written a love story from start to finish before. It is a sloooow burn, and at the moment my characters haven’t admitted to themselves that they like each other. Well, he hasn’t, I haven’t checked in with her recently… Anyway, considering this is my first functional love story I would suggest steering clear of it.
Speaking of the characters, excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall.
Kerina and Terrence simply refuse to do as they are told. Refuse. They have decided to do whatever they want with my poor story. I have almost completely given up figuring out how to stuff my plot into their shenanigans, and am basically just following them around as they do stuff. Yup. Lack of a coherent plot and rebellious characters. Sounds like my life.
Have I ever read a book like that and enjoyed it? No. Is that what editing is for? Yes, but that is beside the point.
Terrence with his ‘I’m going to save the world all by myself’ mentality is going to drive me crazy. Though I do feel sorry for him because his family is kind of, well, dead. Yeah. I wrote an orphan. Two of them actually. How cliche. He thinks he has to live up to his father and his brothers legacy by the age of 21, as well as rescue his country from a tyrant. I keep trying to tell him that he can’t, but he isn’t listening. Maybe this is where I need to put a dragon in, or something.
Kerina isn’t much better. Half elf and half human means she doesn’t belong in either world, but instead of trying to make the best of it, she decides to hide that she is part elf. On top of that, she is immune to magic, the lifeblood of the entire country. Another thing she hides from the world. When you are so different, fitting in is a little hard. Am I right? I may have, uh, made her life a tad bit too hard. But hey, she gets to go on this fantastic adventure and paint the ocean. That makes up for it. Totally.
And then you add the rest of my odd ball characters. An elf with a chip on his shoulder that may or may not have to do with Kerina, his woodsman best friend with endless exuberance and unexpected wisdom, Kerina’s uncle who never gets lost until he starts raising a girl, the thoughtful wizard who regards the world as a puzzle waiting to be solved, and countless others. They are all cluttering up my pages and clamoring to be heard. Guys, speak one at a time. Please!
Blegh. Did you ever see such a crew of cliche characters? At least I avoided the all become one big happy family trope. So far anyway. Though I have seemed to bumble into every other trope that exists!
Unless you actually like reading cliche stories that meander around the main point, stay far away. Though really, the chances of this book ever getting published at all are really, really small.
Royalty that bonds to pegasi? Telepathic wizards? Nomadic elves? A character immune to magic? Pshaw, no one wants to read about that.
If some, um, odd person ever decides to publish it, I’ll let you know so you don’t pick it up by accident.